Although some people make it seem like sexting is something new and unique to the digital age, the art of sending steamy messages to a sexual partner is centuries old. It’s just a hell of a lot easier these days to contact someone and also, if you’re so inclined, share a hot pic or video. Talking dirty when you’re far away from a partner doesn’t have to be embarrassing, and you shouldn’t feel any shame about doing it. Actually, it’s our humble belief that sexting is something you should totally do (you know, assuming you’re into it) to keep your relationship interesting.
Not that it’s not already interesting! But if things are lagging in the bedroom, sexting can be a great way to spice things up and show your partner that you’re still digging them, even if sometimes you’re a little too tired at the end of the day to have IRL sex. And you’re still in the “honeymoon phase” and want to keep it that way, sexting is a great way to do it.
It doesn’t make you a sex fiend or “dirty” to tell your partner that you’re thinking about them that way and want to text through it. Words can be hot, so here are just a few reasons you should give sexting a shot in a relationship:
1It can be a good way to get back in touch with each other.
According to a study done by Adam & Eve, a sex toy company, sexting can most definitely improve your relationship. But most people are only doing it in the beginning of relationships. Only six percent of couples in relationships for over 10 years report sexting, which just makes us kind of sad. Maybe these couples have great sex lives without the use of technology, but it could also mean that things are getting a little stale and they’re not seeing each other as totally sexual beings anymore.
Meanwhile, 42 percent of people who are dating report sexting, and 32 percent of people in committed relationships for less than 10 years are sending sexts. Of all those couples, 56 percent of them report that it helped their relationship. So if you feel like you and your partner are drifting, feel free to send that peach emoji and tell them what you want them to do with it.
2It can build trust.
Some people just come to sexting naturally. Like, they’re really good at articulating what they want to say and don’t overthink the fact that their last text reads like a harlequin romance novel (not that that’s ever a bad thing). But some people get a little shy, even when you’re not sending nudes and just describing something that felt *really* good the last time you two were together. Anyway, sexting with each other takes some guts.
Opening up like that, and getting good feedback in return, can do wonders for relationship building. Also, it’s a good sign when you can lay out some ground rules about where and how your nudes get saved and everyone gets on the same page. Communication and trust go hand in hand, and sexting is a great example of how that works.
3You can test their mood for new things.
When you sext, you don’t have to be the same person you are when you’re actually in the same room with your partner. If you have a new (or old) partner and are thinking about adding something to your play, sexting is a good way to approach the convo. Even just asking straight up if your partner would be down for a pegging session later or likes to be touched in a new place counts as a sext.
There are also some things we might talk about or fantasize while sexting that don’t play out the same IRL. That’s totally cool — you can always follow up and let your partner know that their Very Dirty Talk via text does nothing for you in bed. You can try a lot of things on your sex menu virtually before you make those dreams really come true. Sexting is totally healthy and fun. So don’t hesitate to give it a shot with your partner if you haven’t done so yet.